Say goodbye to your inner critic. 6 steps to inner peace.

Oct 27, 2019

Do you ever catch yourself thinking something negative or ‘bad’ about yourself? Do you believe the negative thoughts about yourself and have evidence to back up those feelings? Are you a perfectionist who finds it difficult to switch off and sees everyone else as ‘better’ than them in some way?


If you want to clear space in your mind and welcome flow, creativity, energy and zen in to your life then you will want to read on.


Firstly, fear not, you are not alone and there is something you can do about it. It’s time to kick your inner critic to the kerb. It will take patience, discipline and commitment but soon you will be reaping the rewards, living a more uplifting, light-hearted and positive life.


Let’s start by identifying what an inner critic is:

Your inner critic is that voice in your head that tells you ‘You’re not good enough’ ‘ You’re fat’ ‘ You can’t achieve that’ ‘Who do you think you are?’ ‘You're a joke’ ‘You’re seriously wearing that?’ ‘No one will love you’

  • Your inner critic is a bully.

  • Your inner critic is draining and kills confidence.

  • You inner critic wants you to fail and will find evidence to show you that you are rubbish.

  • Your inner critic serves no purpose and it is down to you to stand up to it and kick it to touch.


Now you need to know how the inner critic will show up in your world:

  • Self-sabotage

  • Negative chatter in the background of your mind

  • Overthinking/over analysing

  • Inability to make decisions

  • Depression/anxiety

  • Needing validation from others

  • Over sensitive to situations

  • Catastrophise events


Understand that your inner critic was formed in your infancy and to a certain degree wants to keep you safe. With the information overload our brain takes on everyday, to save time it will work out if you have had a similar experience, good, bad or ugly then spit out a response that looks vaguely similar.


When you can take a step back and notice what’s going on; you can begin to rise above it, challenge your thoughts and clear space for beautiful new, horizons.


It’s time to love yourself and be your own best friend.

Try these strategies to help guide you.

  • Detach yourself from your inner critic. Give it a name - The moment you become aware of your negative self talk it will lose it’s power. Make it your mission on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis to catch your thoughts and call it out. By giving your inner critic a name, you are not only detaching him/her from yourself but you are now empowered to choose if you listen to him or her.

  • Question your inner critic.. ‘Hey Fenula I hear you saying that I’m not good enough and that I’ll never get that promotion but I know that I can because I’m prepared, skilled and confident’

  • Beware of your language. Start to notice the way you talk yourself. The second you realise you are feeding yourself negative thoughts, STOP. Take a moment to acknowledge it’s your inner critic. Thank him/her for coming out to play but you are not interested. Replace that thought with a kind, positive and helpful new thought. ‘ You are so fat and ugly’ . Hear me when I tell you there is NO PLACE for these kind of thoughts. You wouldn’t say it to a friend, I’m betting you wouldn’t even say it to someone you don’t like so why is it ok to say it to yourself? Start NOW by replacing your negative, unhelpful language with beautiful, inspiring and compassionate words.

  • Write down affirmations that resonate with you. Commit to standing in front of the mirror on a daily basis and truly mean the words that come out of your mouth. Here are some examples: ‘I have something to offer’ ‘I matter’ ‘I am loveable’ ‘I am strong, lean and fit’ ‘I make a positive difference to people on a daily basis’

  • Work on yourself everyday. We live in a busy world. It can be easy to drop the workout, choose the fast food, stay up late scrolling social media and becoming out of touch with our intuition. If you truly want to leave your self loathing, over thinking, anxious mind at the door you need to commit 100% to putting yourself first. This may go against your truly giving and kind nature but if you’re not showing up and living the life that is true to you then you are not doing anyone else any favours either. Love yourself enough to make time EVERYDAY to participate in the things that give you joy. They don’t have to be extravagant, expensive or take up lots of time and these rituals will look different to each of you but without this commitment to owning your life, doing the work and consistently showing up then you will fall victim to your inner critic. On a daily basis commit to moving your body, nourishing your body with good quality, soul enriching foods, develop a sleep routine and each day find 5 things to be grateful for.

  • Practice mindfulness. Possibly the best gift you can give yourself is that of mindfulness. We are so lucky to be living in a time where this practice is mainstream and not just for monks in orange robes. Mindfulness teaches us to be present, free from distraction and in the mind of an overthinker- free from judgement. Using mindfulness allows us to become the observer of our thoughts and gives the brain space to just ‘be’. There are many ways of practicing mindfulness. Apps like ‘Headspace’ ‘Calm’ ‘Smiley minds’ are just a few that teach mindfulness in a compassionate, simple way.


I want to leave you with this thought.

We all have a past. We all have circumstances in our lives that could define us. We all carry baggage and we all have a story. We all have something about ourselves that we would like to change. We all compare ourselves to others.


My questions to you are; Do you want to continue through life believing the voice of your inner critic? Do the current thoughts you have about yourself bring you closer to success and happiness? Do you want to live paralysed in fear? Do you want to continue to blame your circumstances for your lack of confidence?


Or do you choose to live your life knowing that you are worth it. Do you have the courage to stand up to your thoughts and beliefs and take ownership of them? Are you going to bring back your power and be your own best friend?

You have the power to change your thoughts and challenge your beliefs.

You have unlimited potential and it is your time.


Hey Goal Getter!

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